adoption
Caution: Changes Ahead
A team of doctors decided to conduct an experiment to study the ways in which group pressure influences young people. To accomplish this, they invited 10 teenagers into a room and told them they were going to evaluate their "perception" in order to learn how well each student could "see" the front of the room from where he sat.
The doctors said, "We're going to hold up some cards at the front of the room. On each card are three lines — Line A, Line B and Line C — each of a different length. In some cases Line A will be the longest; in other cases Line B will be the longest, and in still other cases Line C will be the longest. When we point to the longest line, please raise your hand to show that you know it is longer than the others." They repeated the directions to be sure everybody understood and then raised the first card and pointed to the top line.
What one student didn't know was that the other nine had been secretly informed earlier to vote for the second longest line. In other words, they were told to vote wrongly.
The doctors held up the first card and pointed to Line A, which was clearly shorter than Line B. At this point, all nine students cooperated in the scheme and raised their hands. The fellow being studied looked around in disbelief. It was obvious that Line B was the longest line, but everybody seemed to think Line A was longer. He later admitted that he thought, "I must not have been listening during the directions. Somehow I missed the point, and I'd better do what everybody else is doing or they'll laugh at me." So he carefully raised his hand with the rest of the group.
Then the researchers explained the directions again: "Vote for the longest line; raise your hand when we point to the longest line."
It couldn't have been more simple! Then they held up the second card, and again, nine people voted for the wrong line. The confused fellow became more tense over his predicament, but eventually he raised his hand with the group once again. Over and over he voted with the group, even though he knew they were wrong.
This one young man was not unusual. In fact, more than 75 percent of young people tested behaved that same way. They sat there time after time, saying a short line was longer than a long line! They simply didn't have the courage to say, "The group is wrong. I can't explain why, but you guys are all confused." Only 25 out of 100 had the courage to take their stand against the group. This is what peer pressure does to an insecure person.
Another interesting characteristic was revealed by this study. If just one other student voted for the correct line, then the chances were greatly improved that the fellow who was being studied would also do what he thought was right. This means that if you have even one friend who will stand with you against the group, you probably will have more courage, too. But it's pretty difficult to take your stand alone.
Think about the problem
Now let's think about some important questions. Why will this subject of conformity be important as you go into the adolescent years? Can you see any reason why peer pressure could be dangerous? Do you see any ways it could get you into trouble a little later? How does conformity hurt you right now? How does it keep you from doing what is right? How could it interfere with your life?
The reason conformity is so dangerous is that it can cause you to do things that you know are wrong. This is what happens when you don't have the courage to be different from your friends.
You should think about these issues before you face a crisis with your friends. Recognize the fact that they are under the same peer pressure that you feel. They're tempted to take drugs or smoke or drink for the same reason — simply because they're afraid to be different.
How much better it is to show that you have confidence in yourself when the pressure is greatest. You can say, "If you guys want to do something crazy, go ahead. But I think it's stupid!" That's not being childish. That's a way of showing that you have the courage to oppose the group when they're wrong. I'll tell you something else: Most teenagers respect a guy or girl who has the courage to be his own person, even when being teased. An individual with this kind of confidence often becomes a leader. He has shown that he doesn't feel inferior as the other followers. He's not made of putty inside. Instead, he has the guts to stand up for what he knows is right.
One other thing — he is likely to influence others who are looking for that one friend who will increase their confidence. (Remember the experiment with the cards?) He might make it possible for someone else to oppose peer pressure, too.
Background Information
Agency Adoptions
When it is time to evaluate adoption agencies, consider these pros and cons.
Where Have All the Babies Gone?
The top reasons fewer babies are available to the growing number of couples who want to adopt.
Adopting on Your Own
This advice can help single parents who want to adopt children.
Causes and Characteristics of Attachment Disorder
For adoptive parents, attachment issues can be a huge concern.
Independent Adoption
These are the risks and rewards of adopting without the help of an agency.
Questions and Answers
Are adopted children more likely to be rebellious than children raised by biological parents?
Answer
How would you go about telling a child he or she is adopted, and when should that disclosure occur?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Reflections on Bonding With an Adopted Child
Bonding with an adopted child can take time — and great patience.
A Second Chance at Life
Two adopted children arrived from the most unlikely of sources.
Adoption as Grace
How does enlarging your family reflect God's love?
An Act of Grace
In the midst of ethical ambiguity, one infertility treatment is a welcome development.
Climbing the Hills
A father tells his story of adopting his daughter from Russia.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-at-Home Moms
Relationships: Blended Families, Divorce, Parents and Adult Children, Caring for Elderly Parents
