adoption
Moving Blues
Millions of people move every year. In the U.S., it's become routine. Very few people stay in one place for the duration of their life. But the frequency and predictability of moving — especially when YOU'RE the one doing the moving — is still overwhelming. Though relocation involves countless checklists, endless packing and step-by-step planning, your emotions deserve as much attention as all the practical details. Knowing what thoughts may sabotage your emotions during and after a move can help prepare you.
The grass is greener on the other side. A strong sense of disconnectedness often accompanies a move. For some, this is triggered by moving away from loved ones into unknown territory. Others, even those who move only a few miles, might find themselves dwelling on memories of their former home. The transition between moving from your past and accepting your present can be as short as a few months or, for some, as long as a few years. During this time, it's natural to romanticize your former life and surroundings, remembering them as practically perfect. In that light, your new home seems less than par. In reality, your previous environment had its own downfalls; you just miss it. Though the grass may have been "greener on the other side," it still had to be mowed.
The world's going on without me. Another common reaction to a major move is feeling like no one really misses you and maybe they'll forget you. This panic generally begins following thoughts of how your "old" life — the people you love, your church, your friends and your family — are carrying on moment-by-moment without you. Yes, life goes on, but they haven't forgotten you.
I've only got roots as deep as ivy. With many moves, you are forced to "start over." Suddenly the grocery store is a labyrinth of scattered items and your quick trip for bread and milk takes three times as long. You get lost and not just once or twice. After meeting new people for months, you are annoyed with introducing yourself and you crave deep, meaningful conversation with someone who understands you. For many, it feels as if the real you missed being loaded on the U-haul and now you're forced to reinvent yourself for a whole new audience. This fear has some grounding in reality, for with change, you change. But the real you is still there, and as people get to know you better, you'll find yourself emerging again.
Why did you do this to me? This thought can be deadly, killing both your spirit and your relationships. When you blame someone else for making you move — your spouse, your job, even God — you begin a downward spiral of self-pity and bitterness. It's natural, but it's not healthy or fun to be around. Eventually, you've got to move on (no pun intended).
Background Information
Agency Adoptions
When it is time to evaluate adoption agencies, consider these pros and cons.
Where Have All the Babies Gone?
The top reasons fewer babies are available to the growing number of couples who want to adopt.
Adopting on Your Own
This advice can help single parents who want to adopt children.
Causes and Characteristics of Attachment Disorder
For adoptive parents, attachment issues can be a huge concern.
Independent Adoption
These are the risks and rewards of adopting without the help of an agency.
Questions and Answers
Are adopted children more likely to be rebellious than children raised by biological parents?
Answer
How would you go about telling a child he or she is adopted, and when should that disclosure occur?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Reflections on Bonding With an Adopted Child
Bonding with an adopted child can take time — and great patience.
A Second Chance at Life
Two adopted children arrived from the most unlikely of sources.
Adoption as Grace
How does enlarging your family reflect God's love?
An Act of Grace
In the midst of ethical ambiguity, one infertility treatment is a welcome development.
Climbing the Hills
A father tells his story of adopting his daughter from Russia.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-at-Home Moms
Relationships: Blended Families, Divorce, Parents and Adult Children, Caring for Elderly Parents
