adoption
Adoption as Grace
Adoptions are a very special way to start or enlarge a family. Thankfully, there are many different ways to go about adopting or placing a child for adoption. To the woman dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, adoption represents an alternative to abortion that she can feel good about. To the couple suffering from an infertility problem, adoption may be the only way that they can satisfy their overwhelming longing to parent a child.
To take two separate tragedies — an unplanned pregnancy and a couple grieving over an infertility problem — and to combine them in such a way as to solve both problems simultaneously, is exciting beyond words. Through grace, the birth mother makes a painful but heroic decision and is granted the strength to see the decision through. Also through grace, the adopting parents accept a child into their home and bestow on that child their name, their material possessions and the fullest measure of their love and affection.
A special bond exists between birth mothers and adopting parents. They have together, through teamwork of a most magnificent kind, created a human being with a soul and personality, in a way which neither could have accomplished without the other. There is no greater human example of grace.
Whether we are aware of it or not, no one has a better understanding of the concept of adoption than the Christian. A Christian is, through God's grace, accepted into His family without limitation or restriction, and possesses the fullest possible measure of all the rights and privileges of membership in God's family.
As Christians, we believe that we are accepted into God's family not due to any virtue of our own, nor because of our works and accomplishments. Rather, acceptance is a function of God's grace. Likewise, an adopting parent accepts a child into his or her family as an act of grace. This is not to say that there is no expectation of a warm, fulfilling and rewarding parent and child relationship. Viewed from the eyes of the adopting parent, however, adoption is more about giving — the giving of love, companionship and the provision of one's material possessions — than it is about receiving.
It is beyond the scope of this article to explore the many implications of the concept of grace to the relationship between parent and child. It needs to be stated, however, that the concept of grace has even greater and more profound application to the relationship between adopting parent and adopted child than it does to the more traditional parent and child relationship. This is so because adoption is, by its very nature, a function of grace.
In most states, before an adoption can be finalized, the judge actually asks the adopting parents the following question: "Do you understand that if your adoption petition is granted, you will be entering into a contract with this state, in which you will be agreeing to treat the child, in all respects, as if you had given birth to him or her, without exception?" If the adopting parent cannot give an affirmative response to that question with a clear conscience, that person should not adopt. There is no place for differentiation between natural born and adopted children within one family. Such differentiation is the very antithesis of grace.
Background Information
Agency Adoptions
When it is time to evaluate adoption agencies, consider these pros and cons.
Where Have All the Babies Gone?
The top reasons fewer babies are available to the growing number of couples who want to adopt.
Adopting on Your Own
This advice can help single parents who want to adopt children.
Causes and Characteristics of Attachment Disorder
For adoptive parents, attachment issues can be a huge concern.
Independent Adoption
These are the risks and rewards of adopting without the help of an agency.
Questions and Answers
Are adopted children more likely to be rebellious than children raised by biological parents?
Answer
How would you go about telling a child he or she is adopted, and when should that disclosure occur?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Reflections on Bonding With an Adopted Child
Bonding with an adopted child can take time — and great patience.
A Second Chance at Life
Two adopted children arrived from the most unlikely of sources.
An Act of Grace
In the midst of ethical ambiguity, one infertility treatment is a welcome development.
Climbing the Hills
A father tells his story of adopting his daughter from Russia.
The Gift of Sameness
The gift of adoption wasn't in being "special"; it was in being the "same."
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-at-Home Moms
Relationships: Blended Families, Divorce, Parents and Adult Children, Caring for Elderly Parents
