parents and adult children
Question and Answer
I'm in my mid-20s and the youngest of three children. My mom seems to refuse to recognize that I'm an adult now. How can I transition from her child to her peer/friend?
Many parents have difficulty "letting go," allowing their child to fully separate from the parent-child relationship and move into full adulthood. This may be even more of a problem if your parents have a history of marital conflict or have grown apart in recent years. The empty nest years can seem threatening to a woman who feels distanced from her husband and has directed all of her emotional energy toward her children. If your mother refuses to let go, you will need to start establishing healthy boundaries. This may require much more assertiveness on your part, letting your mother know that you love her, but as a woman in your mid-20s, it is time for you to start establishing more emotional independence. She may feel rejected and hurt by your desire to separate, but it is important for her to understand that this is a normal part of development. You also need to do your part to make sure you are not "enabling" your mother to keep you in a childlike role. If you count on your parents for financial support or allow your mother to do your laundry every weekend, you are contributing to the problem.
Background Information
How Parents and Adult Children Can Rebuild Relationships
Repairing a strong parent-adult child relationship isn't easy, but it is possible. Here's how.
Growing Up and Letting Go
Leaving the nest is hard on parents and children alike.
Questions and Answers
Our 24-year-old daughter came home from college and moved back into her old bedroom. Now, three years later, she's still there. She doesn't work, she has no ambition or direction, and she seems perfectly content to freeload on her dad and me. I know she ought to get on with her life, but what can I do? I can't just force her out, can I?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Coffee Can Wait
When my son was born, I prayed he would marry a good Christian woman. When he did, my daughter-in-law relationship with me turned out differently than what I expected.
You Can Go Home Again
As parents reach their later years, many children feel the tug to move closer to them.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Myths and Realities of In-law Relationships
When you marry, you become a family in more ways than one.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Love & Sex: Dating, Living Together
Transitions: Getting Married
Abuse & Addictions: Pornography and Cybersex, Physical and Verbal Abuse
