divorce
Question and Answer
My marriage to my husband has been a very unsatisfying thing for me. I would divorce him if it were not for my concern for our three children. What does the research say about the impact of divorce on kids?
It's now known that emotional development in children is directly related to the presence of warm, nurturing, sustained and continuous interaction with both parents. Anything that interferes with the vital relationship with either mother or father can have lasting consequences for the child.
One landmark study revealed that 90 percent of children from divorced homes suffered from an acute sense of shock when the separation occurred, including profound grieving and irrational fears.1 Fifty percent reported feeling rejected and abandoned, 2 and indeed, half of the fathers never came to see their children three years after the divorce.3 One-third of the boys and girls feared abandonment by the remaining parent, and 66 percent experienced yearning for the absent parent with an intensity that researchers described as overwhelming.4 Most significant, 37 percent of the children were even more unhappy and dissatisfied five years after the divorce than they had been at 18 months.5 In other words, time did not heal their wounds.
That's the real meaning of divorce. It is certainly what I think about, with righteous indignation, when I see infidelity and marital deceit portrayed on television as some kind of exciting game for two.
The bottom line is that you are right to consider the welfare of your children in deciding whether or not to seek a divorce. As empty as the marital relationship continues to be for you, it is likely, from what I know of your circumstances, that your kids will fare better if you choose to stick it out.
Background Information
Defining Divorce
These are some terms you may hear if considering divorce.
The Effects of Divorce
Divorce harms more of your life than you might think.
When Mom and Dad Split
If divorce brings happiness to the parents, the kids will benefit right?
Questions and Answers
How should a spouse respond to an ex-spouse who undermines the parent-child relationship?
Answer
What should an ex-spouse do when a child says the other parent is making demeaning comments?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Loving the Stepmomster
It wasn't easy, but I did grow to accept the woman my dad remarried.
The Way It Wasn't Supposed to Be
Divorce is a hateful thing. But with help, you can mend the torn fabric of your family's life.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Worst is Yet to Come
Divorce is hard on kids in the short term. What's troubling is their inability to "bounce back," even years later.
A Perfect Love
After a divorce, some amount of healing can occur through community support and learning to change certain behaviors. But complete healing can only come from the one who created us.
Forgiveness: What it is and What it Isn't
Understanding and granting forgiveness can help you move past the pain of divorce.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
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