Question and Answer

I'm about to remarry and my future stepkids are against our marriage. They seem to hate me. Is it worth it?

Entering a second marriage which involves "blending" a family isn't easy. In fact, most remarriages involving children don't last. Research indicates that 60-73 percent of these marriages end in divorce. Blended families present a whole set of parenting challenges that must be navigated with extreme care. An unsuspecting stepparent may suddenly be confronted with long-standing alliances, power struggles and an 8-year-old who has assumed the role of "surrogate spouse" in Mommy or Daddy's absence.

Those planning to remarry and "reconstitute" a family should seek professional counseling well in advance of the wedding. Expectations, roles and parenting styles should be clarified with the help of an experienced therapist. Couples who attempt to "go it alone" may be setting themselves up for frustration and failure.

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Background Information

Portraits of a Stepfamily
A look at different types of stepfamilies can highlight the unique challenges each stepfamily may encounter.

Remarriage--A Step in the Right Direction?
In order to make a step in the right direction for you and your children, you first must understand the challenges of stepfamily living and then make an informed choice about remarriage.

Questions and Answers

What's the biggest hurdle blended families face?
Answer

As a new stepparent, what can I do to make the transition a smooth one?
Answer

There are many reasons why a teen may react strongly to a new parent. Some may require professional intervention, but others can be handled at home.
Answer

Television portrays blended families as a peaceful solution to divorce. Is this accurate?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

Not the "Normal" Blended Family
Most families become blended through divorce, death and remarriage. Our blend is much different.

Loving the Stepmomster
It wasn't easy, but I did grow to accept the woman my dad remarried.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Out of Bounds
Here's how you can identify and deal with destructive patterns in your relationships.

Learning to Roll With Change
It's not the most fun you'll ever have, but the results are worth it.

Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?

Related Topics

Love & Sex: Dating, Living Together

Transitions: Getting Married

Abuse & Addictions: Pornography and Cybersex, Physical and Verbal Abuse

Life Applications

Disciplining As a Team
Present a united front by creating a discipline action plan before you need it, and create a structure and stable environment in which your stepfamily can thrive.

Different Homes, Different Values: Uniting Instead of Fighting
The former spouse would walk away or hang up the phone. The anger became a vicious cycle that had to be broken if our stepfamily was to survive.

Healthy Communication With Your Ex
Words are powerful. Use them wisely.

When You're the Stepparent
Finding an effective stepparent role is indeed a challenge. Yet, with healthy expectations and a specific strategy to build relationship, a satisfying bond can be nurtured.