divorce
Defining Divorce
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to recognize that divorce is happening at alarming rates in America. While actual numbers are disputed, statistical reports have estimated anywhere from 33 percent to 50 percent of today's marriages end in divorce. Grounds for divorce vary from state to state. In some, it's easier to file for divorce than it is to file for bankruptcy. Obviously, priorities have changed.
Divorce cases are identified as “contested” and “uncontested.” “Contested” cases are those in which the couple can't agree on how to work out issues such as division of assets, child support, alimony, etc. Spouses who agree on such matters and don't need their lawyers to help make those decisions have an “uncontested” case.
When couples begin a contested divorce but then are able to agree about the terms of the divorce, they come to a settlement. Settlements are a relatively peaceable end to legal proceedings, though the couple still faces an emotional roller coaster of grief in light of their tremendous loss.
Some divorcing couples seek mediation instead of litigation. The mediator, a qualified but neutral party, facilitates agreement on divorce terms. This approach isn't recommended when issues of control, intense conflict or domestic violence are present.
Marriages that are not completely severed are called limited divorces or separations. The spouses no longer live together but are still married. Marriages that, with significant evidence, are declared to never have existed are annulled.
In spite of the legal system's best efforts to make divorce “easier,” it's still a messy process, not just logistically but emotionally. Both spouses are often left with lasting emotional pain and regret. Some conflicts remain unresolved, allowing resentment to fester. Either spouse can experience anger, anxiety, depression and other emotions that affect them physically. The list of divorce's negative effects on people runs long. No matter how inexpensive the proceedings are or how necessary the split seems to be, divorce always comes at an excruciating price.
Background Information
The Effects of Divorce
Divorce harms more of your life than you might think.
When Mom and Dad Split
If divorce brings happiness to the parents, the kids will benefit right?
Questions and Answers
How should a spouse respond to an ex-spouse who undermines the parent-child relationship?
Answer
I would divorce my husband if it were not for my concern for our three children. What does the research say about the impact of divorce on kids?
Answer
What should an ex-spouse do when a child says the other parent is making demeaning comments?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Loving the Stepmomster
It wasn't easy, but I did grow to accept the woman my dad remarried.
The Way It Wasn't Supposed to Be
Divorce is a hateful thing. But with help, you can mend the torn fabric of your family's life.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Worst is Yet to Come
Divorce is hard on kids in the short term. What's troubling is their inability to "bounce back," even years later.
A Perfect Love
After a divorce, some amount of healing can occur through community support and learning to change certain behaviors. But complete healing can only come from the one who created us.
Forgiveness: What it is and What it Isn't
Understanding and granting forgiveness can help you move past the pain of divorce.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
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