communication gaps
We Need to Talk
Men and women have been miscommunicating — or not communicating at all — for thousands of years. All too often, relationships break down because someone can't "hear" what his or her spouse is trying to say. And all too often, couples give up on a relationship that could have been a success.
Some of these breakdowns stem from basic gender differences. Most people recognize that men and women are inherently different, and think and function differently. Men are often task-oriented and short on conversation, dealing with problems alone; women are often relationship-oriented and eager to talk, especially for the purpose of dealing with problems. In many cases, this requires a couple to learn another language — the language of their significant other or spouse.
Other communication issues develop from personality differences. It is said that "opposites attract," and truly they do. Many couples exhibit the classic combination of strong/silent type with a chatty/scattered extrovert or dynamic/driven leader with a gentle/unassuming follower. But the very characteristics that initially attract a man and woman to each other can often become the very elements that drive them apart down the road. Will they choose to make the most of their differences?
A third major cause of communication gaps is background. When two people enter a relationship, they bring their history with them: everything they learned from Mom, Dad and the rest of the family, as well as other life experiences. Such experiences create behavior patterns and mold expectations. Both have the potential to serve as stepping stones to a deeper relationship — or stumbling blocks.
In the face of multiple challenges to healthy communication, men and women have a choice. They can work through and learn to celebrate their differences. Marriage is worth more than words. There is hope for the communication-challenged. Cling to it!
Background Information
The Second Decade of Love
Before the kids leave home, find a renaissance in your marriage.
Questions and Answers
What distinguishes a healthy marriage from one that is in serious trouble? How can a husband and wife know when their conflicts are within normal limits and when they are symptoms of more serious problems?
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There are times when I just don't want to talk at all. My husband understands, but my kids get upset. Can't I just be quiet if I want to?
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My husband and I never talk about the subject of sex, and this is frustrating to me. Is this a common problem in marriage?
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What advice would you give to a woman whose husband just won't respond to her emotionally? That's my situation. My husband would rather keep his thoughts to himself. How can I deal with the longing inside me?
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Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
A Hope Big Enough
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Communication Storm
A seemingly harmless question soon had my husband and me in the throes of a conversation meltdown.
Learning to Make Marriage Real
Here's how one newlywed is making her marriage last a lifetime.
Speaking In Code
The language between husband and wife sounds foreign to an outsider. But does each spouse understand what they're saying to one another?
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Overcoming Bitterness
Holding on to bitterness takes a heavy toll. Letting go requires a new understanding and a new attitude.
Christ, Commitment, Communication
Here are three secrets that can make your marriage last a lifetime.
Marriage Mentoring
Something wonderful happens when a more mature couple reaches out to a new couple. By helping another couple form and live out their dreams, one's own dreams for marriage are reawakened and fulfilled.
Understanding Your Mate
Is your husband too busy or unresponsive? Here's some straight talk to help plug the communication gap in your marriage.
Related Topics
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