rebellion

Question and Answer

We're afraid that our daughter will run away. How can we stop her?

First, it's important to realize there's only so much you can do to stop a determined teen. Don't get caught up in the "Yes-I-can/No-you-can't" struggle. Also, there's no need to sleep in front of the doorway or lock her in her room. Here are some steps to take that should help you deal with the situation effectively:

  • Ask yourself why she would want to "escape" your home. Examine the parent-child relationship. Would she accuse you of being unfairly critical, strict or unsupportive? If so, is she at all justified in feeling that way?
  • Ask your daughter directly if she has thought about running away. This won't insure an honest answer, but her reaction may give you a hint as to whether she's serious about it or not.
  • If your fears are validated, lovingly tell her that, should she ever decide to run away, you hope she will be wise enough to keep herself safe. Also, assure her that you will report her as a runaway. Educate her about the ramifications of getting outside authorities involved. It may sound cold and heartless, but she needs to be aware of the consequences.
  • If you have reason to believe her running away is imminent, make it harder for her to succeed. Limit access to vehicles, finances and the friends she may be planning it with. You may also want to enlist the help of a trusted pastor or youth leader depending on the severity of the situation.
Answered by Tim Sanford and Tim Geare
Copyright © 1999 Focus on the Family.

Background Information

Ten Things Your Teen is Reluctant to Tell You
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Understanding the Stormy Teen Years
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Where Is This Coming From?
Help your teen discover the source of his anger.

Questions and Answers

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