crisis pregnancy
Dealing With Bad Behavior
What do you do when a child declares war on your family, the neighborhood, or the entire civilized world? One teenager who goes off the deep end can, without question, rock a lot of boats in the community. Social workers, doctors, lawyers, police and clergy may all be in the loop, while Mom and Dad endure an avalanche of pain, frustration, guilt and expense.
If you find yourself embroiled in a civil war at home or confronted by a teenager who is making some dangerously bad decisions, you need to keep these principles in mind:
Take the bull by the horns. Don’t tolerate flagrant disrespect, destruction of your home or other property, criminal activity or abuse from one of your children. Drastic action may be necessary to keep this type of behavior from tearing your family to shreds. Use your allies, including other parents, counselors, clergy and the police. If more conservative measures aren’t working, you may need to consider informing him that he cannot remain under your roof if these acts continue. Living at home would then become a privilege to be earned on your terms, with some critical minimum requirements: no drugs, no booze, no stealing, no sex and no verbal or physical abuse of anyone in the family.
If he breaks the law and is arrested, depending on the circumstances you may need to choose not to bail him out, as painful as this decision would be. In doing so you would have but one purpose: allowing him to experience the brunt of his bad decisions and to come to his senses.
Don’t live with false guilt. Perhaps you have made mistakes (who hasn’t?) in raising your prodigal offspring. But even those who work diligently to “bring up a child in the way he should go” (to quote Solomon in the book of Proverbs) can find themselves in the midst of a parent’s nightmare. Each child is an independent being with a free will who decides if he will proceed in the “way he should go” or “depart from it.” Even this famous verse is not an ironclad guarantee but a statement of the way things generally happen.
Don't underestimate the depth of your adolescent's emotions. Serious problems are not “just a phase he’s going through,” and often disruptive behavior on a child's part is the manifestation of real suffering and inner turmoil. By all means seek professional help, and if possible try to engage your adolescent in the process of determining what type of counselor or program would be most appropriate in the current situation. For help, call the new Life Treatment Centers. 1-800-NEW LIFE, or a treatment center near you.
Pray without ceasing, and don't give up. Even if you have to allow him to reap the bitter harvest of his choices, continue praying for his safety and return to sanity. More often than not, even the most die-hard prodigals eventually get tired of the pigsty and trudge home.
Background Information
Behind the Scenes of a Teen Pregnancy
A look at the thoughts and feelings she — and you — are going through.
Abortion Risks
While abortion seems like a "quick fix" for a long-term problem, it is a permanent decision that carries physical, emotional and spiritual risks.
Deciding About Adoption
When considering adoption as an alterative to raising your baby, these answers may dispel adoption myths.
Questions and Answers
Why do I feel like this pregnancy has pulled me in so many different directions? I feel so overwhelmed with all the ramifications of this decision I must make. How can I sort it all out?
Answer
My pregnant daughter has her whole life still ahead of her. Would it be better for her to place her baby with a family through adoption, parent her baby or have an abortion?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Things Seen and Unseen
A woman in a white coat walked into the room and flipped on the fluorescent lights, jarring my wife awake. The jarring was just beginning.
Left to Suffer
Abortion can leave a woman feeling more empty and alone than she ever dreamed possible.
Life is Sacred
Sometimes the choices we make bring pain. Thankfully, one woman turned to God for healing.
Taboo Grief: Men and Abortion
It's not something most men talk about, but the ones who've lost a child to abortion bear many scars.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Faith Helps
God may be the only person who understands what you're going through.
What the Choice is All About
For a long time it baffled me. I could never understand why anyone would want to be pro-choice. But this past week I finally got it.
Related Topics
Relationships: Blended Families, Parents and Adult Children
Transitions: Preparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest
