homosexuality
The Causes of Homosexuality
One of the biggest questions for parents and spouses is, “Is this my fault?” This gets down to the root issue of who is responsible for my gay loved one's struggles with his or her sexuality. There are three possible answers:
Answer #1 - God is responsible. This condition is genetic — so God caused it, or at least, allowed it to occur. Blame God! It's His fault. (I'm off the hook.) Some parents have actually thrown out their previous biblical convictions that homosexuality is sin. It's genetic, so my child had no other option. “I guess the Bible doesn't mean what I used to think it meant about this subject.” This is a false solution.
Answer #2 - The gay person is responsible. It's their choice. It's my loved one's fault. (I'm off the hook.) Again, this is an erroneous solution. People do not consciously choose to be gay, in the vast majority of cases. They become aware of homosexual feelings, often at puberty, just as you became aware of heterosexual desires and attractions. It infuriates gays and lesbians when you tell them, “You chose this. Now stop it!”
Answer #3 - Homosexuality is the result of a combination of multiple factors, and I may have contributed in some way to my loved one's struggles in this area. To find answers, we must be willing to search for the truth, no matter where that search takes us. Are you willing to “walk in the truth,” no matter what answers you find? Are you committed to the truth? Or, are you happy with false solutions because they are easier? They take away the guilt (or do they?). They “fix” the problem — at least, for now.
Background Information
An Ounce of Prevention
Myths about homosexuality abound. Not least is the notion that, for some people, homosexuality is inevitable.
Born Gay?
How can you debunk the claim of biological determinism?
Struggling With Homosexuality
These questions and answers are designed to help men and women dealing with same-sex attraction work through the confusion.
The Guilt of Homosexuality
Are parents to blame when their son or daughter comes out of the "closet"?
The Sexual Developmental Stages
How do males develop homosexual attractions?
Questions and Answers
My friend is a lesbian, and she thinks it is okay. How do I tell her this isn't okay with God?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Finding His Way Out
One man proves it is possible to escape the grip of homosexuality.
My Father's Closet
When Dad leaves Mom for another woman, the wounds are deep. But what do you do when he leaves for another man?
Not What I'd Expected
Having a gay father-in-law was the beginning of lessons on love and compassion amidst different beliefs and values.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
I Think I Might Be Gay!
This article, written for teen girls, points out that admiring the qualities, characteristics, or fashion sense of another female does not make you gay.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Relationships: Blended Families, Parents and Adult Children
Transitions: Preparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest
