low self-esteem
Question and Answer
You have said that children and young people are experiencing an epidemic of self-doubt and feelings of low self-esteem. Why do you think this is true?
It has resulted, in part, from an unjust system of evaluating human worth now prevalent in our society. Not everyone is seen as worthy; not everyone is accepted. Instead, we reserve our praise and admiration for those who have been blessed from birth with the characteristics we value most highly. It is a vicious system, and we, as parents, must counterbalance its impact.
At the top of the list of the most highly respected and valued attributes in our culture is physical attractiveness. Those who happen to have it are often honored and even feared; those who do not may be disrespected and rejected through no fault of their own. This measure of human worth is evident from the earliest moments of life, when an attractive infant is considered more valuable than a homely one. For this reason, it is not uncommon for a mother to be depressed shortly after the birth of her first baby. She had hoped to give birth to a beautiful six-week-old Gerber baby, having four front teeth and rosy, pink cheeks. Instead, they hand her a red, toothless, bald, prune-faced, screaming little individual who isn't exactly what Mom expected.
As the child grows, his or her value as a person will be assessed not only by parents but also by those outside the home. Beauty contests offering scholarships and prizes for gorgeous babies are now common, as if the attractive child didn't already have enough advantages in life. What a distorted system for evaluating human worth. As author George Orwell has written, "All [people] are equal, but some [people] are more equal than others."1 The real tragedy today is how often this statement is proven true in the lives of our children.
Background Information
Signs of Bullying
Parent, teachers, coaches, and even friends can benefit from learning what signs to look for that may indicate that your child is having a problem being bullied.
How Low Can They Go?
Sometimes the pit of low self-esteem can seem bottomless. Your kids may need a lifeline now more than ever.
Self-Esteem Programs Get Low Grades
Can a school curriculum adequately fill kids with decent values?
Stage Fright
Understanding what makes kids lose their composure can help them regain it.
To Each His Own
It’s normal for some kids to learn at a slower pace.
Questions and Answers
My 16-year-old daughter wasn"t asked to the prom and she"s crushed. As a dad, what can I do to help build her up?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
The Wounded Spirit
Bullying is not the harmless youthful activity some think it is. It inflicts psychological scars that can last a lifetime.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Perfect Child
A little perfectionism goes a long way. Too much can be a real downer for kids.
Related Topics
Transitions: Having a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family
Relationships: Parents and Adult Children, Blended Families
