health concerns
Chronic Kids, Healthy Spirits
Mary's Story
My son, Robbie, was having another cardiac catheterization, one of many since birth. As my husband and I drove to the hospital, my mind and heart felt as out of focus as the predawn mist on the highway. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to conjure up assurances from God to prove He was there and cared.
This feeling was nothing new. As a newborn, Robbie had open-heart surgery to repair a rare defect. It's been a 13-year faith-stretching journey since.
When a long-term condition or impairment touches our children, God instantly has our undivided attention. We cry: “Why me?” “Why now?” “Why my child?” We see disease as the enemy. And we easily hold our children's conditions at arm's length, making it harder to embrace our children. Yet acceptance of a child's illness is the only assurance of the well being of our families.
For God's glory
It's a privilege to be chosen by God to parent a child with a chronic condition. He qualifies us for the role by giving us the passion and skills we need for our particular situations.
It can be hard to believe that this is God's best when our children struggle to breathe, eat, see, learn, even move. Yet God knows what will encourage, bend, mold and challenge us into a deeper understanding of who He is.
When Robbie asks about the zipper-like scar that runs from his navel to his throat, I tell him it's a battle scar — a badge to be worn with honor and pride. He's a soldier in God's army.
In the fall of 1999, when Robbie had open-heart surgery again, the doctors marveled at his three-day post-operative recovery. When we credited prayer and God's faithfulness, the medical staff listened. We can't know the extent of the ripples of our children's stories, but God uses them to touch people's lives.
Elizabeth's Story
I slipped out of bed and tiptoed into my son's room. By the glow of the night-light I pricked his finger with a lancet and squeezed a drop of blood onto a monitor for another blood sugar test — his third that night. How many times had I done this routine over the last three years since Jordan was diagnosed with type I diabetes? I didn't want to do the math.
Yawning, I ran my hand across his blonde hair. “Lord,” I whispered, “I know this child is more precious to You than he is to me. Give Peter and me wisdom to know how to parent him for Your glory.”
Checking the reading on the monitor, I sighed. Finally, his blood sugar was normal. He didn't need insulin or food to protect him from a dangerous coma. I could go back to bed.
I couldn't sleep though. Father, I'm tired of this never-get-a-break disease. But please don't let me forget to guide Jordan to look beyond his disease toward You.
A deeper need
Loss of sleep isn't the only expense of raising a child with a chronic condition. The cost extends to our relationships, wallets, energy, time, faith and sense of well-being. Apathy and hopelessness can dominate our days as we become mechanical caretakers of our child's physical condition rather than nurturers of his spirit.
How could we raise him to have a whole heart for Christ when he may see his body as being “broken”? Because children rarely grow out of their diseases or impairments, part of our parenting role is to help Jordan “grow into” his condition. The circumstances he lives with are not something God has done to him; it's what He's doing for them, to mold them for His glory.
If we help Jordan adopt an outward focus, he'll learn positive aspects of living with a chronic condition. For example, Jordan wouldn't have met his friend Sam if it hadn't been for their mutual diabetes. Plus, meeting Sam's family has given Peter and me a chance to share our hope and faith in God.
Communicating God's love
Each child was created in God's image; therefore they are precious to Him. Even for children with extreme physical or mental impairment, God has created an avenue by which He can reach their souls — through their senses and through their parents.
A few nights later, Jordan's voice woke me. “Mommy?!”
I stepped into his room, “What's wrong?”
“I'm afraid of the dark.” Then in a whisper, “And diabetes. Will you sing and pray with me?”
I sang “Jesus Loves Me,” prayed with him, then snuggled the blankets under his chin.
“Mommy? Will you get my Bible?”
I handed it to him, and he tucked it between his arms close to his heart. “Now I can sleep.”
I marveled at the simplicity. He knew his comfort and security rested with God.
Background Information
Health Problems, Hypochondria or Cries for Help?
When your adolescent repeatedly complains of not feeling well in the morning, how do you know whether to offer TLC and bed rest or escort him to the bus stop?
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
This advice won't eliminate all cases of SIDS, but it could save hundreds, if not thousands, of lives every year.
The Debut of Teeth
Though it's exciting for parents, getting teeth can be a pain in the mouth and elsewhere for babies.
Understanding Vaccines
Do you know the purpose of each of your child's vaccinations?
What Causes Vomiting and Diarrhea in Infants?
If your infant vomits or has diarrhea, be aware of these possible causes.
Questions and Answers
I'm trying to potty train my 3-year-old son who has Down syndrome. Does he have the capacity to understand at this age, considering his challenges?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Dear Friend
In the face of bad news, it helps to hear from someone who's already passed through the valley.
Too Young To Die
Living with a seriously ill child can seem too much to bear.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Bearing the Burden of a Child's Illness
In the midst of a devastating diagnosis, sometimes all you can do is to trust God.
Related Topics
Transitions: Having a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family
Relationships: Parents and Adult Children, Blended Families
