health concerns
Dear Friend
Dear Friend,
I'm so sorry about what you are going through right now. "How do you stop thinking about it?" you asked me. I don't know. When I was pregnant with Jessica, it took over my thoughts so much so that I couldn't concentrate on anything else.
Concerning your struggle with the idea of terminating the pregnancy based on a certain level of risk, I feel a heavy burden in my heart to share another aspect with you. Many people simply state that this is a personal decision, and the outcome should be dependent upon the individual circumstances.
I am deeply saddened by the argument that an unborn child is not yet a part of your "existing" family, and therefore doesn't deserve as equal a consideration as the other members. If the prenatal tests came back "normal," would you love this baby any more? What area of your "existing" family's life takes precedence over caring for this baby?
Some state that they don't believe they "could handle it," but I often wonder if they understand we will (most likely) all one day face a heavy burden of caring for someone else. If your child became handicapped due to an accident or severe illness, what would you do? If your spouse was paralyzed, and totally dependent on your care, would you decide to abandon your commitment to him?
Is the only difference the fact that we are actually allowed to opt ourselves out of the "burden" of caring for a special-needs baby? If we had the chance, would we do the same for a burdensome child or spouse — I can't believe anyone who loves their family could answer: "It depends on the circumstances."
We've had to invest a lot more effort into caring for Jessica than we ever dreamed possible, but do we regret this? Absolutely not! Looking at our little girl, I cannot imagine ANY situation where it would have been better to abort her — not if we had less money, less time, or other children.
One of the biggest disgraces we have placed upon ourselves is the idea that an unborn baby, especially one with a "risk" of being handicapped, is anything less than a human being. This has allowed some to make a tragic, irreversible (but not unforgivable), mistake. My heart truly breaks for them.
Growing inside you, regardless of its physical or mental condition, is a child entrusted to your care. Please don't sacrifice this baby to fears you have about the future.
Many of us understand your concerns and fears. You are not alone. I will pray that God gives you the strength and peace that accompanies assurance of His understanding and guidance.
Love from Jessica's mom
Background Information
Health Problems, Hypochondria or Cries for Help?
When your adolescent repeatedly complains of not feeling well in the morning, how do you know whether to offer TLC and bed rest or escort him to the bus stop?
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
This advice won't eliminate all cases of SIDS, but it could save hundreds, if not thousands, of lives every year.
The Debut of Teeth
Though it's exciting for parents, getting teeth can be a pain in the mouth and elsewhere for babies.
Understanding Vaccines
Do you know the purpose of each of your child's vaccinations?
What Causes Vomiting and Diarrhea in Infants?
If your infant vomits or has diarrhea, be aware of these possible causes.
Questions and Answers
I'm trying to potty train my 3-year-old son who has Down syndrome. Does he have the capacity to understand at this age, considering his challenges?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Chronic Kids, Healthy Spirits
Two sisters write about parenting their children with chronic illnesses
Too Young To Die
Living with a seriously ill child can seem too much to bear.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Bearing the Burden of a Child's Illness
In the midst of a devastating diagnosis, sometimes all you can do is to trust God.
Related Topics
Transitions: Having a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family
Relationships: Parents and Adult Children, Blended Families
