low self-esteem
Take Note
Communication is an important part of keeping relationships strong. Small words of encouragement go a long way in staying close to our kids.
But once children are in school and the afternoons are filled with sports activities, music lessons and hanging out with friends, how do we even get a loving message to our child?
Lunch boxes or bags make excellent mailboxes—just grab a pen and paper and drop in a note. If you want to get really creative, find a toothpick and some food color. You can write or draw right on a sandwich or cookie! Permanent marker works well for writing on the drink box. If your child likes stickers, choose one just for him and stick it on a sandwich bag.
Other great places to leave notes are in a backpack, on the bathroom mirror, on a closet shelf, in a shoe, on the computer keyboard or send an e-mail. If you have an especially organized child, find an empty spot on his personal calendar and jot a simple note, such as: "You are special. Have a great day," "Thanks for taking out the trash without being told. You are really handling responsibility well," "I 'm proud of you" or "I 'm so glad I'm your mom."
One year my daughter's "lunch bunch" wanted the same affirmation she received so badly that several of her friends called me and asked if I would include notes for them each day.
Affirming your child in writing gives him something that can be read over and over. He can put the notes in a drawer or box and pull one out on a day when he needs a little extra encouragement.
"Parental affirmation is a gift all children need," says David W. Cox, a Christian family counselor. "One of the most positive things parents can do to affect their children is to speak blessings. Children who receive encouragement from their parents do not seek validation in potentially destructive ways as teens."
Middle schoolers are never too old to be told they are loved. Notes don 't have to be long. And no matter what the words say, the message is still the same: "You are special. I 'm glad we have each other."
Background Information
Signs of Bullying
Parent, teachers, coaches, and even friends can benefit from learning what signs to look for that may indicate that your child is having a problem being bullied.
How Low Can They Go?
Sometimes the pit of low self-esteem can seem bottomless. Your kids may need a lifeline now more than ever.
Self-Esteem Programs Get Low Grades
Can a school curriculum adequately fill kids with decent values?
Stage Fright
Understanding what makes kids lose their composure can help them regain it.
To Each His Own
It’s normal for some kids to learn at a slower pace.
Questions and Answers
You have said that children and young people are experiencing an epidemic of self-doubt and feelings of low self-esteem. Why do you think this is true?
Answer
My 16-year-old daughter wasn"t asked to the prom and she"s crushed. As a dad, what can I do to help build her up?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
The Wounded Spirit
Bullying is not the harmless youthful activity some think it is. It inflicts psychological scars that can last a lifetime.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Perfect Child
A little perfectionism goes a long way. Too much can be a real downer for kids.
Related Topics
Transitions: Having a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family
Relationships: Parents and Adult Children, Blended Families
