low self-esteem
Self-Esteem Programs Get Low Grades
Research shows having a high self-esteem doesn't always lead to positive or responsible behavior, The New York Times recently reported.
Since the early 1980s many experts have blamed low self-esteem for criminal behavior, racism, drug and alcohol abuse and academic failure. However, studies conducted by Drs. Brad Bushman of Iowa State University, Roy F. Baumeister of Case Western Reserve University and Jennifer Crocker of the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research are debunking the notion that schools' self-esteem curricula are the vaccine for society's ills. Instead of inflating children's self-esteem, the data suggests, adults should teach them to resist temptation, to cope with criticism and to learn from their mistakes.
"My bottom line is that self-control is much more powerful," Dr. Baumeister says.
Bushman, Baumeister and Crocker also reject the belief that adults should protect children from feeling the effects of losing a game, shelter them from academic rigor and discourage self-discipline.
"I think we had a great deal of optimism that high self-esteem would cause all sorts of positive consequences, and that if we raised self-esteem, people would do better in life," Dr. Baumeister says. "Mostly, the data have not borne that out."
Although these findings do little to dampen the enthusiasm of some therapists, school administrators and parents, they concede other pieces factor into a healthy self-image.
"If you are not personally and socially responsible, then your self-worth is built on a false reality and, therefore, it's not healthy," says J.D. Hawkins, president of the National Association for Self-Esteem.
Dr. Jennifer Crocker agrees that this may be the problem with some schools' self-esteem curricula, which often encourage students to focus on their own happiness—and not on anyone else's needs.
"The pursuit of self-esteem has short-term benefits but long-term costs," she says. "Not everything is about 'me.'"
Of course, there is an upside to a healthy self-image. Dr. Baumeister notes that people with high self-esteem are happier and have more confidence in their abilities. The downside is that research indicates a 'D' student may have a self-image as high as the class valedictorian.
Self-esteem, then, isn't just about personal happiness. It is also about feeling physically, mentally and spiritually healthy. And fostering those characteristics, Dr. James Dobson says, is the parents' roles. In his book Hide and Seek, he says,
"By a proper use of parental influence and direction, we can provide our children with the inner strength necessary to survive the obstacles they will face. We can open the road to self-esteem and personal worth. Perhaps we won't reconstruct the world, but perhaps we can help our children cope with it more successfully."
Background Information
Signs of Bullying
Parent, teachers, coaches, and even friends can benefit from learning what signs to look for that may indicate that your child is having a problem being bullied.
How Low Can They Go?
Sometimes the pit of low self-esteem can seem bottomless. Your kids may need a lifeline now more than ever.
Stage Fright
Understanding what makes kids lose their composure can help them regain it.
To Each His Own
It’s normal for some kids to learn at a slower pace.
Unfair Comparisons
Jealousy is often the by-product of comparison.
Questions and Answers
You have said that children and young people are experiencing an epidemic of self-doubt and feelings of low self-esteem. Why do you think this is true?
Answer
My 16-year-old daughter wasn"t asked to the prom and she"s crushed. As a dad, what can I do to help build her up?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
The Wounded Spirit
Bullying is not the harmless youthful activity some think it is. It inflicts psychological scars that can last a lifetime.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Perfect Child
A little perfectionism goes a long way. Too much can be a real downer for kids.
Related Topics
Transitions: Having a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family
Relationships: Parents and Adult Children, Blended Families
