feeding, sleeping and crying

Why Won't They Eat?

One of life's greatest mysteries is how a preschooler can survive on three spaghetti noodles, half a banana and a graham cracker for an entire day!

Just to reassure you, most preschoolers eat more than you realize. (Keep a list of exactly what your child consumes. You'll be surprised.) So why do preschoolers seem so hard to feed?

First, for most children, their growth rate has slowed considerably. That may explain why your once always-hungry baby has turned into a finicky child who picks at her plate. Another reason is that most preschoolers are more interested in developmental things. They'd rather build blocks or talk than eat. And if that's not enough, most young children don't like new things, so they prefer to eat the same four things over and over.

Here's how you can help your child through this self-imposed hunger strike.

  • Serve preschool-sized portions. A full serving for a young child is about one-fourth of an adult's.
  • Let your child help in the kitchen. It makes extra work for you, but your child is more likely to eat something she's had a hand in preparing. Give your child simple cooking tasks and mealtime chores, such as stirring the muffin batter or setting the table.
  • Watch the fluid intake. Many young children drink lots of milk and juice, which only provide some nutrients. Too many beverages can interfere with their already small appetites.
  • Establish regular meal and snack times. A predictable schedule will help your preschooler's tummy know when to be hungry. And planned snack times give you more opportunity to sneak in some nutrition.
  • Avoid the short-order cook routine. Don't let your child live on macaroni and cheese, while the rest of the household has a balanced meal. Instead, serve at least one thing your child likes at every meal and give her an opportunity to try the rest.
  • Put your expectations on the back burner. Develop guidelines that work for both you and your child, such as taking 10 bites or eating all of two things. Then try to stop worrying. Children really do survive the preschool pickies — and so will you.

Background Information

Breast to Bottle
These tips can help make a smooth transition for both Mom and baby.

Ready for Meat and Potatoes
If a couple of teeth erupt before six months of age (the usual time of the first appearance of teeth), this in itself is not a sign that your baby is ready for pizza.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
This advice won't eliminate all cases of SIDS, but it could save hundreds, if not thousands, of lives every year.

Questions and Answers

Should a parent try to force a child to eat?
Answer

What are "night terrors?"
Answer

What causes a child to wet the bed?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

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Other Things to Consider

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Children can be demanding, frustrating and exhausting. But they can also be a tremendous source of positive change in our lives.

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Life PressuresWorking Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family

RelationshipsParents and Adult Children, Blended Families