miscarriage
Question and Answer
What are some common reactions to a miscarriage?
When a pregnancy ends in miscarriage, a woman and her spouse experience a great variety of emotions. Below are some thoughts on what you're possibly going through.
What you might be feeling
- Guilt — "I must have done something wrong."
- Denial — "Maybe there's a mistake. Maybe I'm still pregnant."
- Depression
- Mood Swings
- Anger — often masks grief
- Jealousy — toward pregnant women or women with babies
- Withdrawal — from social contacts
- The grief cycle — shock and denial, anger, depression and detachment, dialogue and bargaining, acceptance.
Whether they are experienced immediately or later, the emotional and psychological responses to a miscarriage typically parallel those of any significant loss. In particular, the cycle of grief needs to be accepted and completed in order for healing to occur. Many who have studied the grief process delineate five stages one must navigate: shock and denial, anger, depression and detachment, dialogue and bargaining, and (finally) acceptance. It's important to note that these "stages" seldom are experienced in a linear progression, but rather tend to occur in spiraling cycles until the loss is resolved.
Receiving permission to grieve and acknowledging the loss are crucial. Otherwise, the bereaved person can get "stuck" in denial, repressed emotions or depression, which can greatly impact one's spiritual, emotional and physical health.
Women who have lost a baby sometimes feel guilty — and relive the pregnancy, trying to recall what they might have done (or not done) that could have caused the miscarriage. With rare exceptions, such as drug or alcohol abuse or gross malnutrition, such guilt is unfounded and is simply a normal maternal reaction.
Background Information
When Grief Doesn't End
Despair can halt the natural and healthy process of grieving.
Understanding Miscarriage
Here are the symptoms and causes of miscarriage.
What Not to Say
Sometimes even people with good intentions say the most hurtful things.
Questions and Answers
When I want to get pregnant again, is there anything I can do to improve my chances of carrying the baby to term?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Suffering Toward God
Facing their daughter's death forces one couple to answer life's hardest questions.
I Never Knew You, Still I Love You
One woman's story of her grieving period when she miscarried.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Hope and Comfort From the Bible
If you're asking God why this happened to your baby, here are some of His answers from the Bible.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Abuse & Addiction: Pornography and Cybersex, Sexual Abuse
Parenting Children: Talking About Sex
Parenting Teens: Sexual Activity, Crisis Pregnancy, Homosexuality
Transitions: Getting Married, Adoption, Having a Baby
