miscarriage
Honey, I'm Pregnant!?
You look at the little white stick with the plus sign and wonder, How could this have happened? Of course, you know all about the birds and the bees — you're married, after all. But why now? How could you go and do this when you feel so completely unprepared? Adding a child to your family is stressful — even when you plan the pregnancy. Making the transition when a baby wasn't part of the immediate plan can be even tougher .
Talk with your doctor. A prenatal appointment early in pregnancy helps to assure that yours and your unborn child's health will be carefully protected. Your doctor can help you understand how to reduce your stress, eat right and prepare for the coming birth. Share your concerns about your unplanned pregnancy with your doctor; he's seen couples in your situation before. He may be able to offer some wise advice on how to come to terms with your little surprise.
Re-focus your thinking. Maybe your career is just getting started or you 've already got your hands full with other children. Perhaps your financial situation will be even tighter with the addition of a new member of the family. Or maybe you and your spouse wanted a little more time with just the two of you. Whatever the reason, remember that this is your child, conceived in love. It is a part of both of you. No matter how unexpected, a child is always a precious gift. Start to think of the good things about having a baby now: You 'll still be young enough to play soccer with your kids, or, if this is a late-in-life surprise, mature enough to know just what being a mom is all about; you'll be able to avoid the stresses of “trying” to get pregnant; you won 't have to worry about the “right” time to have children; the child(ren) you already have will be able to enjoy a sibling playmate. If you start thinking of positives, soon you'll have a long list that will help you feel more confident about the new addition to your family.
Talk to a pastor, counselor, or pregnancy resource center staff member. Having a child is a major life change — especially when you weren't planning for one. Seek advice from someone who will be able to see beyond the early feelings of despair, anxiety and sadness and help you move toward the time when you will happily welcome your new little one.
Take your time. One of the good things about pregnancy is that it lasts nine whole months. That's enough time for most people to make the adjustment to a positive mind-set. As you watch your body grow, feel the baby moving inside you and see her picture on the ultrasound screen, you'll begin to love her even before you can hold her in your arms. Don't try to rush yourself into the adjustment. No matter how you feel before your baby is born, once you see her sweet little face and tiny little fingers and toes, your heart will melt.
Background Information
When Grief Doesn't End
Despair can halt the natural and healthy process of grieving.
Understanding Miscarriage
Here are the symptoms and causes of miscarriage.
What Not to Say
Sometimes even people with good intentions say the most hurtful things.
Questions and Answers
What are some common reactions to a miscarriage?
Answer
When I want to get pregnant again, is there anything I can do to improve my chances of carrying the baby to term?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Suffering Toward God
Facing their daughter's death forces one couple to answer life's hardest questions.
I Never Knew You, Still I Love You
One woman's story of her grieving period when she miscarried.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Hope and Comfort From the Bible
If you're asking God why this happened to your baby, here are some of His answers from the Bible.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Abuse & Addiction: Pornography and Cybersex, Sexual Abuse
Parenting Children: Talking About Sex
Parenting Teens: Sexual Activity, Crisis Pregnancy, Homosexuality
Transitions: Getting Married, Adoption, Having a Baby
