miscarriage
When Grief Doesn't End
Grief is the natural response to loss. If you've ever faced a major loss, you have probably felt the crushing weight that seems to bring everything to a grinding halt — and you know your life will never be the same again.
Once past the initial phase, grief works to help you process the loss, hopefully moving you toward acceptance. The grief phase is agonizing, often resurrecting painful emotions like fear, denial, regret, anger, sadness, rejection, abandonment and withdrawal. Yet in the midst of this terrible time, grief is changing you. It is helping you transition into life without your loved one.
Like waves of the ocean that vary in size, strength and consistency, grief keeps your emotions flowing and moving toward healing. Within that wash of grief, you may at times feel a sense of despair. This is not abnormal or unhealthy in itself, but when despair and despondency overpower you, taking control of your emotions, the natural process of grief can be stunted.
Being stuck in despair is like water collecting and stagnating in a pool. It 's a breeding ground for negative, unhealthy reactions to loss — like depression and suicidal thoughts. When someone is trapped in despair, she may feel like life is no longer worth living. While the feeling of not wanting to go on without your loved one is natural after a death, intense and ongoing thoughts about ending your own life are not constructive or healthy. You can expect to feel despair and loneliness over the loss, but withdrawing and wallowing in that despair can affect your physical well-being, relationships, spiritual life and overall ability to deal with living.
If you find yourself mired in despondency, and you think you've traded the constantly moving waves of grief for the stagnant pool of despair, it may be time to seek outside help. On this site, we offer referrals to counselors who can help you overcome despair and initiate the healthy flow of grief.
Background Information
Understanding Miscarriage
Here are the symptoms and causes of miscarriage.
What Not to Say
Sometimes even people with good intentions say the most hurtful things.
Questions and Answers
What are some common reactions to a miscarriage?
Answer
When I want to get pregnant again, is there anything I can do to improve my chances of carrying the baby to term?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Suffering Toward God
Facing their daughter's death forces one couple to answer life's hardest questions.
I Never Knew You, Still I Love You
One woman's story of her grieving period when she miscarried.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Hope and Comfort From the Bible
If you're asking God why this happened to your baby, here are some of His answers from the Bible.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Abuse & Addiction: Pornography and Cybersex, Sexual Abuse
Parenting Children: Talking About Sex
Parenting Teens: Sexual Activity, Crisis Pregnancy, Homosexuality
Transitions: Getting Married, Adoption, Having a Baby
