sex before marriage
The New Virgins
If you've ever watched TV, read a magazine or surfed the Net — and who hasn't? — it's easy to believe that the entire population has surrendered to their hormones. And while it's true that premarital sex remains the norm in society today, there is a new trend making its way across the land.
It's the New Virginity, and it's not just for teens anymore.
It began in the 1990s, as young people began to ask the question: "Why Wait?" Some decided to abstain from sex for religious reasons, others to avoid the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Still others realized they weren't ready for the intense intimacy of a sexual relationship.
Those same teenagers are adults now, and many of them are still waiting. And they've been joined in their quest for purity by a growing mass of adults who were once sexually active, but no more. It's a phenomenon known as "secondary virginity," and its practitioners have experienced sexual relationships and found them wanting. They're looking for love and respect — the kind that lasts a lifetime — and they're willing to wait for it, even if it means losing out on a potential mate who doesn't share their convictions.
These "born-again virgins" can't change the past, but they're committed to creating a better future. Contrary to pop-culture wisdom, those who do choose to save sex for marriage are not doomed to a second-class sex life. Rather, they typically report higher levels of sexual satisfaction and marital contentment. Moreover, early sexual experience has been linked to marital dissatisfaction, low self-esteem and greater incidence of divorce.
Indeed, why not wait?
Background Information
Risk Factors for Premarital Sex
Concerned your teen is having sex? These indicators may help you decide to confront your teen.
Let's Talk About Sex
How do you make the right decision about when — and with whom — you should have sex?
Questions and Answers
Is it okay to have sex before marriage if we plan on marrying in the future?
Answer
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We have recently started having sex. How do I tell him I want to stop?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
How My Sexual Encounter Changed Everything
Never did I imagine that a few hours of pleasure would produce years of pain – and a beautiful baby girl.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Screwtape E-mails
Someone is out to get you but his identity may surprise you.
What is Sex Worth?
Sex before marriage cost more than I dreamed.
Never Surrender
A committed marriage can weather the storms of life.
Related Topics
Abuse & Addiction: Pornography and Cybersex, Sexual Abuse
Parenting Children: Talking About Sex
Parenting Teens: Sexual Activity, Crisis Pregnancy, Homosexuality
Transitions: Getting Married, Adoption, Having a Baby
