miscarriage
Post-Abortive Men and the Church
The church is not immune to the ravages of abortion. Warren Williams, founder of Fathers and Brothers in Boulder, Colorado, says the incidence of abortion inside the church and outside is virtually identical. And the impact is substantial. “Proverbs 28:17 says that a man tormented by the guilt of murder will be a fugitive until death,” Williams says. “When you’re involved in an abortion, you exhibit fugitive behavior — running, hiding, ignoring, covering up. A church populated by people with a fugitive mind-set is an emasculated church.”
What prevents men from dealing with past abortions? First, men often don’t know they are suffering. Symptoms of post abortion stress seem unrelated to the abortion itself: inability to form trusting relationships, difficulty bonding with children, anger, risk-taking, depression, suicidal feelings, panic attacks, addictions. Psychotherapist Jim Benefield says it can take up to 10 years before men make the connection between their unhealthy behavior and an abortion.
Second, talking about abortion isn’t easy. “It was very tough for me to go back and revisit the abortion,” Chico Goff said. Williams of Fathers and Brothers says men need to know that they can talk about their emotions freely in a safe environment before they’ll come forward.
Third, pastors are often unwilling to confront the issue directly. Yvonne Wagner, a crisis pregnancy center volunteer, discovered this when she began calling area churches to offer her services as a post-abortion counselor. Out of 100 pastors she contacted, only two felt her services were necessary.
Williams suggests that church leaders work together with organizations such as crisis pregnancy centers or Promise Keepers. In this way, pastors can point hurting men in the right direction and raise the level of awareness in the church.
Background Information
When Grief Doesn't End
Despair can halt the natural and healthy process of grieving.
Understanding Miscarriage
Here are the symptoms and causes of miscarriage.
What Not to Say
Sometimes even people with good intentions say the most hurtful things.
Questions and Answers
What are some common reactions to a miscarriage?
Answer
When I want to get pregnant again, is there anything I can do to improve my chances of carrying the baby to term?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Suffering Toward God
Facing their daughter's death forces one couple to answer life's hardest questions.
I Never Knew You, Still I Love You
One woman's story of her grieving period when she miscarried.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Hope and Comfort From the Bible
If you're asking God why this happened to your baby, here are some of His answers from the Bible.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Abuse & Addiction: Pornography and Cybersex, Sexual Abuse
Parenting Children: Talking About Sex
Parenting Teens: Sexual Activity, Crisis Pregnancy, Homosexuality
Transitions: Getting Married, Adoption, Having a Baby
