living together
Living Together: Not Such a Good Idea After All
Whether you call it “living together,” “shacking up,” or “living in sin,” cohabitation is on the rise. Sadly, so are the consequences of sharing a home without the commitment of marriage.
Try as you may, it's not easy to defend cohabiting as “just the same as marriage.” The following myths and truths paint a compelling picture.
Myth: “This is just temporary. We'll be getting married when we feel ready.”
Truth: Only 30 percent of couples who live together actually get married. 1
Myth: “We want to try each other out. We'll have a better chance of staying married if we live together first.”
Truth: The dissolution rate for couples who lived together before marriage is 80 percent higher than it is for couples who didn't. 2
Myth: “We'll get along better once we're married.”
Truth: Thirty-five out of 100 couples living together experienced a physical assault in a 12-month period; that's more than double the rate of violence among married couples, which is 15 out of 100. 3The top three problems for couples who live together before marriage are: drunkenness, adultery and drug abuse. 4
Myth: “We just want to get a head start on our finances before we get married.”
Truth: Men who live with their girlfriends before marrying them are more likely to be underemployed (before and after the marriage) than men who have not cohabited. Women who live with their boyfriends before marrying them are more likely to need to be employed full time to compensate for their husbands' underemployment. 5
Background Information
The Problem With Living Together
Far from a trial marriage, living together is more like a test drive.
Questions and Answers
Is living together before marriage a good test of future compatibility?
Answer
My boyfriend and I are both from broken homes and want to divorce-proof our future marriage. Is living together a good test of future compatibility?
Answer
What are the benefits of marriage versus living together?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Six-Month Security: Living Together Before Marriage
Find out why the "try before you buy" mentality doesn't work when it comes to committed relationships.
Love Lessons
We long for intimacy but too often settle for physical or emotional promiscuity.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Never Surrender
A committed marriage can weather the storms of life.
Related Topics
Abuse & Addiction: Pornography and Cybersex, Sexual Abuse
Parenting Children: Talking About Sex
Parenting Teens: Sexual Activity, Crisis Pregnancy, Homosexuality
Transitions: Getting Married, Adoption, Having a Baby
