miscarriage
The Guilt of Homosexuality
Whether the confession comes from a son or daughter, spouse or close friend, the admission of homosexuality hits like a bombshell, especially in Christian homes. Grief — often overwhelming and crippling — is the most common emotional reaction. Suddenly life seems totally out of control. Events are pushing you in a direction you never thought you'd be going.
"If my husband was seeing another woman, I could fight it," said a devastated wife whose husband had fallen into homosexual behavior. "But with this situation, I felt helpless — and totally lost." The deeper the bond between you and this other person, the deeper your hurt on discovering their homosexuality. You know that the relationship with them has changed forever.
Guilt is a huge issue, especially for parents. It's common for them to ask, "Where did we go wrong?" They feel like total failures in one of their most important God-given roles.
Here are some insights:
We know that homosexual feelings can arise from childhood pain, and sometimes parents have contributed to that pain. It does not bring resolution to pretend that we did everything perfectly with our kids! At the same time, all parents are imperfect. All parents cause pain in their children's lives. We, like every other parent, have made our share of mistakes. We all have shortcomings. So, in that sense, we are no different from all other parents.
Remember that God raised Adam and Eve in a perfect environment, and they still chose to rebel. According to Jack Hayford in Loving a Prodigal, "The misbehaviors of our children do not necessarily indicate that we are failures as parents. Our worth as parents does not hinge on the choices of our children."
We are not responsible for what we cannot control. We cannot control our child's temptations. We cannot control our child's responses to those temptations. We cannot control our adult child's moral behavior. I think this is the hardest issue for some parents to face: We have lost control.
Some parents spend years trying to regain control. They manipulate, they threaten, they yell, they pout. Ultimately, nothing works. The child is still in rebellion.
Background Information
When Grief Doesn't End
Despair can halt the natural and healthy process of grieving.
Understanding Miscarriage
Here are the symptoms and causes of miscarriage.
What Not to Say
Sometimes even people with good intentions say the most hurtful things.
Questions and Answers
What are some common reactions to a miscarriage?
Answer
When I want to get pregnant again, is there anything I can do to improve my chances of carrying the baby to term?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Suffering Toward God
Facing their daughter's death forces one couple to answer life's hardest questions.
I Never Knew You, Still I Love You
One woman's story of her grieving period when she miscarried.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Hope and Comfort From the Bible
If you're asking God why this happened to your baby, here are some of His answers from the Bible.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Abuse & Addiction: Pornography and Cybersex, Sexual Abuse
Parenting Children: Talking About Sex
Parenting Teens: Sexual Activity, Crisis Pregnancy, Homosexuality
Transitions: Getting Married, Adoption, Having a Baby
