self-image
Making Peace With Your Body
Not too long ago, a female friend and I commiserated over all the diets we'd tried over the decades. In the 1960s, it was Sego diet milkshakes and Stillman's Water Diet (lots of broiled hamburger and eight glasses of water a day). In the 70s, it was the grapefruit diet, Atkins and the ever-nerve-jangling Dexotrim. In the 80s, it was the Scarsdale Diet and Optifast (remember Oprah's triumphant entrance on her talk show in body-hugging size 10 jeans?). In the 90s, it was cabbage soup, fen/phen and Metabolife. Today, it's the South Beach Diet, Protein Power and Sugar Busters — and a new version of Atkins. And there are many, many others.
My friend is in her 60s. She's a beautiful woman with a tiny waist, gorgeous blue eyes and cheekbones to die for. But she feels like the elephant woman because of her large hips and legs. At the time of our conversation, she and her husband were planning a two-week vacation in Hawaii. On one point she was absolutely emphatic — no way would she don shorts or a swimsuit on their trip.
How tragic, I remember thinking. Here's a woman who's earned the right to enjoy an unself-conscious holiday on a tropical beach without stressing over what people might think about her calves. Hadn't she read the poem, “When I'm an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple”? Couldn't she see the ridiculousness of her fears?
“People won't notice you, Milly," I said. "Most people are so caught up in their own self-consciousness, they won't care about your legs!”
I tried to talk sense to her. But her mind was made up. And deep inside, I understood. I had the same phobia about people seeing my flabby upper arms. I couldn't remember the last time I wore a sleeveless shirt.
Women today celebrate their “liberation” from all kinds of personal and professional oppression, but when it comes to our bodies, we remain slaves to unrealistic expectations about our looks. If, as some have said, our “religion” is what we spend most of our time thinking about, most of us would have to confess spending way too much time obsessing on weight and bowing down at the altar of the bathroom scale.
Let's face it ladies: We're terrified at the idea of actually accepting our bodies lest we go completely out of control, consuming Oreos and Ding-Dongs by the truckload.
God's Word describes our bodies as “temples” (read 1 Corinthians 3:16). Clearly, we are commanded to keep ourselves in healthy physical shape through exercise and proper nutrition. But too often we confuse that message with the false one that says you're ugly if you aren't shaped like one of those 20-year-old walking clothes hangers in Vogue magazine.
Getting back to Oprah: We all know what happened shortly after Oprah's dramatic weight loss with Optifast — she put all the weight back on, plus some. Only years later did she make the mental, physical and emotional connection that helped her lose weight and keep it off for good. Regardless of what you think of Oprah's personal and religious philosophies, she has achieved the weight loss that eludes the other 96 percent of people who go on diets.
Oprah's secret? She made peace with her body. That's right. A few years ago, she made a conscious decision to accept her body – more than that — to embrace it, flaws and all.
It's one of those mysterious paradoxes; only when she decided to love her body just as it was, did she at last find freedom from the fear and shame that motivated her dieting behavior in all the years before. Only then was she able to start honoring her body with a healthy regimen of nutritious eating and moderate exercise. Losing weight was the natural result of her newfound self-respect.
Hating ourselves, whether it's our bodies or who we are internally, is not only not constructive, it goes against everything God tells us about who we are in Him. If you don't believe, as the Bible says, that you are “beautifully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), that you are “His [God's] workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10), “forever free from condemnation” (Romans 8:12), and “complete in Christ” (Colossians 2:10), then you are not only calling God a liar, but choosing an attitude of ingratitude and failure.
As you choose to believe what the Lord tells you about yourself, you will honor His good gifts — which include your physical body.
So give yourself a break. The next time you stand in front of a three-way mirror, rather than bemoan the effects of gravity and all that cellulite, be nice. Practice saying kind things. You may not have Cindy Crawford's body or the body you asked for — but it's the body God gave you. Thank Him for the gift, then ask Him to show you how to treat it with the love and respect it deserves.
Background Information
A Matter of Perspective
How you view yourself has a lot to do with how others see you.
More Than Skin Deep
In this culture, it's hard to believe beauty is more than skin deep.
Image is Everything
A generation of Americans are ignoring their inner beauty for the pursuit of the perfect exterior.
Questions and Answers
Leslie's husband died a few years ago. Despite her tremendous abilities Leslie struggles with low self-esteem. How can she improve her self-esteem and make sure her daughters grow up valuing themselves?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Winning at Losing
Losing weight has its ups and downs. Learn how to do it right and win at losing.
Skin Deep
A beauty pageant contestant discovers looks aren't all they're made up to be.
The Weight of Being Fat
I joined Weight Watchers when I was 13. Why couldn't I just be normal?
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
One's worth and value may not come from where you expect.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Embracing the Real You
While many people obsess about their less-than-perfect bodies, countless others fret over their intelligence, ethnicity or economic status. Do you have trouble accepting yourself?
The Pain of Perfectionism
Some perfectionists suffer from low self-esteem because they think they must be perfect — something they can never be — to like themselves.
Related Topics
Transitions: Changing Jobs, Moving
Relationships: Communication Gaps
Parenting Teens: Communication Problems
