time for family
Just Say No
How many unwanted things have you ended up doing because you didn't say "no"? Most of the time we say yes because we can't think of any reason for not cooperating. The basic reasons for saying no should be that what we have been asked to do does not fit into our goals. At first this may seem like a selfish response. Yet if our priorities are straight, then we will have already taken into account the needs and goals of others, at least those goals to which we are able to respond in a reasonably appropriate and effective manner.
An executive of a large association called to invite me to be the featured speaker at an annual meeting. When I asked what was the purpose of the meeting, his reply was, "It's our annual meeting." From this I think I was supposed to get the idea it was important, and therefore, I should be honored by the invitation.
"What is it that you want me to communicate? How can I help you?" I asked.
"Well, let us know what you think would be the most useful for us," he responded. The conversation ended when I asked him to go back to his committee to find out what the purpose was of my coming. If they had then come back and told me why they wanted me there, I would have been happy to accept or recommend someone whom I thought could do a better job if what they wanted did not lie in the area of my expertise. I didn't hear from them again!
Learning to say no also involves accepting your own capabilities. The apostle Paul in the 12th chapter of Romans tells us to think of ourselves with sober judgment. A healthy self-evaluation many times keeps us from accepting the task that someone else could do better, someone whose priorities and gifts are more relevant to the need at hand. Having this self-awareness makes it much easier to respond to people by saying something like, "I really don't think that's something I am gifted to do."
Background Information
Making Good Decisions
What to do about avoidance — one of the biggest time wasters around.
Evaporating Family Time
It's easy to get caught up in the business of life. It's not as easy to make it up to your kids.
Questions and Answers
I have very little time to spend with my children these days, but I make sure the hours we do get to spend together are meaningful. Do you agree that the quality of time you are with your kids is more important than the quantity?
Answer
Our son has been spending all of his time with friends and leaves no time for family activities. What should we do?
Answer
There aren't enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be done and spend quality time with our kids. But I'm afraid that someday I'll regret my day-to-day decisions to focus on a clean house. How can I change?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
About Time
It's never too soon to start making memories with your children. For one dad, it's too late.
Missing Dad
Though in 5- and 6-year-old language I would have never called him a "workaholic," I suppose my dad fit the description.
Leaving the Majors for More
Choosing family over career isn't easy; but the rewards are priceless.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
If you sweat the small stuff, it's time to learn how to break free from the control freak inside of you.
Fitting Kids Into a Life
We're well-versed in how to make it in the corporate world. What we need is a little advice about making it in the nursery.
Dare To Be Different
Encouraging individuality is the best way to fend off peer pressure.
Beyond Books and Diplomas
Do you want your kids to be leaders? The formula for getting there might surprise you.
Related Topics
Transitions: Changing Jobs, Moving
Relationships: Communication Gaps
Parenting Teens: Communication Problems
