stress
Just Say No
How many unwanted things have you ended up doing because you didn't say "no"? Most of the time we say yes because we can't think of any reason for not cooperating. The basic reasons for saying no should be that what we have been asked to do does not fit into our goals. At first this may seem like a selfish response. Yet if our priorities are straight, then we will have already taken into account the needs and goals of others, at least those goals to which we are able to respond in a reasonably appropriate and effective manner.
An executive of a large association called to invite me to be the featured speaker at an annual meeting. When I asked what was the purpose of the meeting, his reply was, "It's our annual meeting." From this I think I was supposed to get the idea it was important, and therefore, I should be honored by the invitation.
"What is it that you want me to communicate? How can I help you?" I asked.
"Well, let us know what you think would be the most useful for us," he responded. The conversation ended when I asked him to go back to his committee to find out what the purpose was of my coming. If they had then come back and told me why they wanted me there, I would have been happy to accept or recommend someone whom I thought could do a better job if what they wanted did not lie in the area of my expertise. I didn't hear from them again!
Learning to say no also involves accepting your own capabilities. The apostle Paul in the 12th chapter of Romans tells us to think of ourselves with sober judgment. A healthy self-evaluation many times keeps us from accepting the task that someone else could do better, someone whose priorities and gifts are more relevant to the need at hand. Having this self-awareness makes it much easier to respond to people by saying something like, "I really don't think that's something I am gifted to do."
Background Information
Widespread Anxiety
Here's a look at the frequency and types of anxiety problems.
Making Good Decisions
What to do about avoidance — one of the biggest time wasters around.
Symptoms of Anxiety
Here's how to recognize the signs of anxiety disorder.
Questions and Answers
Are anti-anxiety medications absolutely necessary? Is it possible, for instance, to cure repeated anxiety attacks without them?
Answer
Are some anti-anxiety medications safer and less addictive than others?
Answer
Do anti-anxiety medications have to be taken forever?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Strapping on the Nitro
Stress can be more dangerous than you think.
Sweet Escape?
Chocolate: What tastes so good going down may leave you empty.
The Journey
One man's tale of traveling through anxiety and panic disorder to the other side.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
If you sweat the small stuff, it's time to learn how to break free from the control freak inside of you.
What Really Matters?
Your answer to the question of priorities can make the difference between success and failure.
Trading Anxiety for Peace
Embracing peace can begin with a switch in perspective.
A Spiritual RX for Healthy Mind and Body
A new study of bereaved spouses shows a significant link between religious faith and the ability to heal after a loss. It's just one more confirmation of the faith/health connection.
Learning to Roll With Change
It's not the most fun you'll ever have, but the results are worth it.
Related Topics
Transitions: Changing Jobs, Moving
Relationships: Communication Gaps
Parenting Teens: Communication Problems
