time for family

Evaporating Family Time

Most parents wish their homes were a bit more like Beaver Cleaver's. He and his brother came home after school and Mom was there with a plate of freshly baked cookies. The family sat down to eat their meals together. They shared what they'd done during the day and talked to each other when they had a problem to solve.

But in today's busy world, living like the Cleavers just isn't possible for most families. Parents typically feel they don't spend enough time with their children because of longer working hours, volunteer and community commitments and time spent commuting to and from work. Children are pulled away from the home as well; on the average, they have more homework, are involved in more extra-curricular activities and spend more time outside the home than they did 50 years ago. During an ordinary work day, the average parent spends 10 1/2 hours working and commuting, at least 10 hours doing housework and sleeping and less than two hours caring for children.

Just being in the house at the same time your kids are doesn't necessarily mean you're enjoying quality time together. Television has become a major source of separation within the family. Too many family members spend more time in front of the television than they do relating to one another. In addition, computers, video games and telephones eat up a big chunk of family hours. Fewer and fewer families have regular family dinners together, go to church together or have family traditions and routines that they share on a frequent basis.

These separations are taking their toll. In addition to the climbing divorce rates, busy schedules and conflicting needs contribute to substance abuse problems, low self-esteem and a deterioration in the sense of family closeness that helps children stay on the right track. Parents feel more frustrated, emotionally drained and distant from their children. Without careful consideration and deliberate changes in our priorities, the family will lose its meaning.

Background Information

Making Good Decisions
What to do about avoidance — one of the biggest time wasters around.

Questions and Answers

I have very little time to spend with my children these days, but I make sure the hours we do get to spend together are meaningful. Do you agree that the quality of time you are with your kids is more important than the quantity?
Answer

Our son has been spending all of his time with friends and leaves no time for family activities. What should we do?
Answer

There aren't enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be done and spend quality time with our kids. But I'm afraid that someday I'll regret my day-to-day decisions to focus on a clean house. How can I change?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

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If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
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Transitions: Changing Jobs, Moving

Relationships: Communication Gaps

Parenting Teens: Communication Problems