working moms
Breaking Free From Workaholism
How can workaholics break the cycle of addiction? The first step is recognizing the problem. Debra Weaver, a pastor's wife and mother of four who teaches part time at her children's school, recently made the decision to step down as director of women's ministries at her church after she recognized the toll her busyness was taking on her relationships at home.
“I was constantly on the phone or on the computer, and as a result, I was constantly getting mad at my kids,” she recalls. “I knew it was time to give it up. For me, it was a matter of trusting God: Do I really believe that if I invest my time where God wants me to invest it — in my family — He will bless my ministry?”
Rebecca Robeson, a self-admitted workaholic, is not yet free of her workaholism. But she is becoming aware that she has a problem. Whenever she finds herself caught in the destructive cycle of work addiction, she thinks of a friend and mentor named Brenda. “Brenda has learned to say no,” Rebecca says. “It irritates me, because she refuses things I wish she'd agree to do. More often than not, though, she says no to something good in order to say yes to something better — her family and her relationship with the Lord.”
Whether we're bona fide volunteeraholics or simply over-functioning moms who have taken on too much, we need to ask ourselves: In our drive to create an illusion of self-worth that's based on what we accomplish, are we doing irreparable damage to our children, family and friends? If so, what are we going to do about it?
10 steps to finding balance
- Acknowledge you have a problem.
- Be accountable to someone for your schedule.
- Cut out half of your outside involvement.
- Don't add a new activity to your schedule without eliminating another.
- Allow time in your schedule for doing nothing.
- Set a time budget and live within it.
- Forget quality time — it's quantity time that counts.
- Cherish the time you have with your children now. It can never be reclaimed.
- Maintain your perspective. There's a time for everything; maybe it's just not now.
- If you're a workaholic, get help before it's too late.
Symptoms of workaholism often mask deeper emotional problems such as depression or low self-esteem. Consider getting outside help, either from a trusted pastor or counselor.
Background Information
What to Look For In a Nursery School or Playgroup
When you leave your child in someone else's care, there are some concerns you need to consider.
Working Moms Are Nothing New
It's just that they didn't have to leave their babies in daycare to do it.
Questions and Answers
Do you feel it is still important to have Mom at home in the teen years?
Answer
Do you think it is all right for a woman to make it her exclusive career goal to be a wife and mother? Or should there be something else?
Answer
What do you think of placing children in child-care centers so mothers can work?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
How Motherhood Changed Me
One professional woman recounts her first few weeks at home, alone, with her new baby.
I Can't Do It All
Balance in life is often elusive. But it can be attained.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
The Most Important Job in the World
When it comes to mothering, beware of substitutes.
The Stress of Being Superwoman
Is the title Superwoman too high and lofty for the everyday mom? These quick tips can help you utilize every minute of the day.
Fitting Kids Into a Life
We're well-versed in how to make it in the corporate world. What we need is a little advice about making it in the nursery.
Related Topics
Transitions: Changing Jobs, Moving
Relationships: Communication Gaps
Parenting Teens: Communication Problems
