Question and Answer

My daughter and her boyfriend just laugh it off, but I am alarmed by the put-downs and insults they toss back and forth. Am I being too sensitive?

My daughter and her boyfriend just laugh it off, but I am alarmed by the put-downs and insults they toss back and forth. Am I being too sensitive?

No. There is a lot of talk now about sexual respect. But why draw the line there? It is far more effective to establish verbal respect between members of the opposite sex earlier. Sexual respect follows. If nasty put-downs are tolerated or even laughed off, it sends a signal that this is acceptable. And if so, what about cruel jokes, mean tricks or physical disrespect (which can lead to sex or abuse)? Ask your daughter if she’s seen teens put up with a little verbal disrespect only to endure more serious jibes and emotional hurt later. Our schools are full of examples!

Moreover, being treated with courtesy and respect feels better. Some teens, deprived of positive role models to show them how to treat a member of the opposite sex, may need some training. Guys should know that simply removing their ball cap or sunglasses while talking to a girl can communicate respect and lead to improved relationships.

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Background Information

Emotional and Verbal Abuse
The wounds caused by abuse aren't always visible.

Recognizing Abuse Both Seen and Unseen
Verbal and physical abuse are far more prevalent in our society than you might expect.

Secondary Symptons of Sexual Abuse
Here's how to identify common patterns and characteristics among abuse victims.

Abuse and the Church's Role
If church-goers suspect abuse, here's an explanation why they should get involved and how to help the victim.

Charmers and Con Artists
The con artist can rob you of your time, energy and money, and the Charmer can rob you of your youth, your integrity and your self-esteem. Here is how to know if you live with a charmer or a con artist.

Questions and Answers

Why do abused women often stay, rather than just flee the situation?
Answer

How should a wife deal with her husband's abusive tendencies?
Answer

Have you ever been concerned that exercising the concept of "tough love" in a marital crisis could potentially kill the marriage?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

Escaping my Abusive Relationship: A Shark Story
Used constructively, anger can be a powerful tool for protecting yourself from an abusive relationship.

Losing Myself
One abused woman found hope, healing and herself.

Victim
An abused man speaks out about the destruction of his marriage, and the healing he has found.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Hope for Couples in Crisis
The key to dealing with marital strife lies in respect.

Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?

Related Topics

Life Pressures: Workaholism

Parenting Teens:  Drugs and Alcohol, Eating Disorders, Internet Concerns

Relationships:  Anger

Life Applications

Who Needs Counseling?
Counseling is sometimes perceived as a "last resort," rather than a valuable source of help.

Changed or Not Changed?
If you're in an abusive relationship, here are some signs indicating whether he has or has not changed his ways.

Helping a Domestic Violence Victim
If you know someone who might be a victim of domestic violence, here's how you can help.

How to Be an Anchor in the Storm
One of the reasons a battered woman is finally able to leave an abusive relationship is because she has someone who acts as her anchor in the storm. Here are some ideas that may help you help someone else.

How to Help an Abused Wife
When an abused woman reveals her life with you, you are just seeing the tip of the iceberg. Here how to help someone who is experiencing domestic violence.