pornography and cybersex
Question and Answer
As a counselor, have you ever been concerned that exercising the concept of "tough love" in a marital crisis could potentially kill the marriage?
First, you need to understand how I see my situation. My role is similar to that of a surgeon who tells a patient that he needs a coronary-artery-bypass operation. The man sits in his doctor's office, hearing the probabilities of success and failure. "If you undergo this operation," the doctor says, "research shows you'll have a 3 percent chance of not surviving the surgery." Wow! Three out of every hundred people who submit to the knife will die on the table! Why would anyone run that risk voluntarily? Because the chances of death are far greater without the surgery.
The "love must be tough" confrontations and ultimatum are like that. They may result in the sudden demise of a relationship. But without the crisis, there is a much higher probability of a lingering death. Instead of bringing the matter to a head while there is a chance for healing, the alternative is to stand by while the marriage dies with a whimper. I'd rather take my chances today, before further damage is done. A blowout is better than a slow leak.
Background Information
Sex and Lies
Five things about women pornography teaches young men.
Stages of Porn Addiction
The progression of addiction can lead you to a place you never thought you'd go.
The Subtle Dangers of Pornography
Only a small number of people who view pornography develop addictions that lead them to violent behavior. But pornography does pose subtle dangers for all people who dabble in it.
Questions and Answers
Is cybersex "cheating"?
Answer
My wife has a cybersex problem. What do I do?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Surviving a Spouse's Addiction
What do you do when you find out your husband of 32 years has a sexual addiction? Read one woman's story.
Heading in a New Direction
Surely someone this deeply addicted to pornography would be out of God's reach.
When Cyber-dating Becomes an Addiction
It might seem fun, exciting and harmless at first, but online dating can become a trap.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
What's Good About Sex?
Sex clubs, Internet porn, AIDS ... with so much perversion, it's easy to forget what God intended sex to be.
Filling the Holes in Our Souls
When harmless "hobbies" become compulsions, it may be time to take a closer look at the emotional deficits in our lives.
Hope for Couples in Crisis
The key to dealing with marital strife lies in respect.
Related Topics
Life Pressures: Workaholism
Parenting Teens: Drugs and Alcohol, Eating Disorders, Internet Concerns
Relationships: Anger
