pornography and cybersex
Sex and Lies
Pornography communicates its own “truths” about women. Unfortunately, they're all lies.
- Lie # 1: Women are less than human. The women in Playboy magazine are called “bunnies,” making them cute little animals or “playmates,” making them a toy. Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts. Some pornography shows only the body and doesn’t show the face at all. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.
- Lie #2: Women are a “sport.” Some sports magazines have a swimsuit issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport. Porn views sex as a game and in a game: You have to win, conquer or score.
- Lie #3: Women are property. It's common to see pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message is, “Buy one, and you get them both.” Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalogue, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It's not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us that women can be bought.
- Lie #4: A woman's value depends on the attractiveness of her body. Overweight or less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don't fit into porn's criteria of the perfect woman. In fact, if someone is attracted to a heavyset woman, porn labels that a fetish, which means sexual obsession or hang-up that isn't "natural." Porn doesn’t care about a woman's mind or personality, only her body.
- Lie #5: Women like rape. “When she says no, she means yes” is a typical porn scenario. Women are shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it. Porn eroticizes rape and makes it arousing. Women are shown being tied up, beaten, and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and finally begging for more. Even while being tortured, the porn actors and actresses have a smile on their face — a look of intense enjoyment. Porn teaches men to enjoy hurting and abusing women for entertainment.
Background Information
Stages of Porn Addiction
The progression of addiction can lead you to a place you never thought you'd go.
The Subtle Dangers of Pornography
Only a small number of people who view pornography develop addictions that lead them to violent behavior. But pornography does pose subtle dangers for all people who dabble in it.
Questions and Answers
Is cybersex "cheating"?
Answer
My wife has a cybersex problem. What do I do?
Answer
Have you ever been concerned that exercising the concept of "tough love" in a marital crisis could potentially kill the marriage?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Surviving a Spouse's Addiction
What do you do when you find out your husband of 32 years has a sexual addiction? Read one woman's story.
Heading in a New Direction
Surely someone this deeply addicted to pornography would be out of God's reach.
When Cyber-dating Becomes an Addiction
It might seem fun, exciting and harmless at first, but online dating can become a trap.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
What's Good About Sex?
Sex clubs, Internet porn, AIDS ... with so much perversion, it's easy to forget what God intended sex to be.
Filling the Holes in Our Souls
When harmless "hobbies" become compulsions, it may be time to take a closer look at the emotional deficits in our lives.
Hope for Couples in Crisis
The key to dealing with marital strife lies in respect.
Related Topics
Life Pressures: Workaholism
Parenting Teens: Drugs and Alcohol, Eating Disorders, Internet Concerns
Relationships: Anger
